Local Kid Thinks He Can Just Make His Own Oil

Congress Changes National Anthem to “Holla Back Girl”

BY GREGORY COLWEN In light of recent events and pop culture influences,…

Self Conscious Teen Receives Children’s Menu

by Captain Underscoreboard It was a dark and stormy night. The pitter-patter…

Ricky Martin Found Living in Wyoming Cave

by Romulus Glenn CHEYENNE, WY—After what seemed to be a larger than…

OK, Come on Teachers, What’s up With All This Homework?

By Melbo Azurky DEERFIELD- All right everyone, I’ve been going to school…

I Really Don’t Know Which Super Power I Want

by Austin Graypad Recently, I have been asked about super heroes, or…

Rock Paper Scissors Tourney Turns Catastrophic

STUDENT UNION-Hopes were up with a cycle 34 day lingering in the…

Student Council Only Does it For the Free Breakfast

By Satchel Cornspeaker DEERFIELD, IL- We all thought that those student council…

Igneous Rock Sells For 3.2 Million on Ebay

By Lloyd Samskadon SOMEHWHERE IN GREENLAND- The seller Tami Redvan really didn’t…

Mother Still Brags About “Cute” Bar Mitzvah Theme

HIGHLAND PARK- Mother of two from Highland Park, Illinois, Edith Rosensteinbergbaum is…

Bald Man Receives Hair Transplants, Life Goes Haywire

by Rodney Eggsburg SAN ANTONIO- Times were tough. The economy was in…

Dunkin’ Donuts Changes Name to Be Politically Correct

by Anfernee Van Tarkus MASSACHUSETTS-Leading donut and coffee provider Dunkin’ Donuts has…