New Obnoxious Bells Designed to Get Seniors Out Faster, Among Other Things

DEERFIELD, IL—With only about one quarter left, Deerfield High School’s evil overlords…

Cat Trainer in Rehab for Catnip Addiction

By Picov Andropov Senior News Correspondent CHICAGO, IL – One of the…

Song “Here it Goes Again” Played on Repeat

Both Students Accepted to Ivy Leagues Happy to Have Gotten In