By Bob Gray
PODUK, IA—Rich Gleeman, your “Average Joe” Iowan, reports getting calls from someone “in 2034.” Joe told reporters that the caller was using a futuristic device, and that the message was of so much importance that he must keep it a secret. He did mention, however, that he has made a few very important adjustments in his stock portfolio (wink, wink). He is currently at the local Podunk Asylum and is receiving guests.