Carlos Zambrano approached the podium today, cool, calm, and collected. He told Chicago with great confidence “We will get the Olympics in 2016.” Derrick Lee was quick to scoop up the one error Zambrano made, “and the paralympics too.” After a season’s worth of excitement based on the unexpected news, Lou Pinella rushed to the podium to clarify one thing. “You should not believe them. Remember, these guys never come through in the clutch. I’m pretty sure Arizona or L.A. will get the Olympics before us.” Milton Bradley added, “Urrgh. I am so angry.”