GARNER, NORTH CAROLINA—In a recently updated version of their waiver contract, the Valet company outside of Tom’s Fancy Restaurant has made drastic changes to help out their insurance policy.

Users of the valet company now sign off on their right to sue, and the right to complain if death or a filthy car results from the car being in the care of the valet.

Most prominently, however, was this statement: “We are not responsible for lost, damaged, or stolen cars,” remarks the large sign and the contract. Drivers are easy to overlook this statement, but this wheeling-and-dealing has added significantly to the bottom line of the valet. Just last month they made $600,000 after selling two Ferraris, a 2007 BMW and a 1992 Jeep.

Few have protested, saying that the disclaimer contradicts the purpose of the valet, but their press statement quotes a little known president: “The business of America is business,” they say, as they continue to steal, damage, and joyride in impressive vehicles.

Among other companies that claim the same irresponsibility are Bank One, whose magnificent disclaimer tells that they are not responsible for any lost or stolen money. Another standout is Park District Day Care who says they claim no responsibility for lost, or stolen babies.

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