By Huey Caquest

Husband and wife Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf are known worldwide for their tennis talent and prowess on the court. But with the four and a half year anniversary of their son Jaden Gil’s birthday fast approaching, the two parents worry about their son’s future.

“[Jaden] has yet to swing his tennis racket properly,” says Agassi, who claims that he tries teaching the basics of tennis to his son day and night to no avail. “All he wants to do is stay at home and finger-paint. [Pete] Sampras is already giving me grief about his son Christian and how talented he is. The world might as well just hand Christian Sampras the Wimbledon title right now.”

While Agassi has never had a taste for modern art (he’s always considered himself a Renaissance type of guy), art critics are starting to take notice of the talented young Jaden.

“His use of shadow with his temperate colors seems to add a real flair to a lot of his early work,” says French critic Floyd Reauchambeau on his skills as a finger painter, “and I have yet to see his shadings with his blue and green colors be matched by any other preschooler in the western hemisphere.”

While the young Jaden Gil Agassi is beginning to receive notice in the art world, he has fallen out of favor with his parents, becoming their second favorite child to his three-year old sister. Graf said it was only a matter of time before this would happen.

“It’s rather elementary, the only reason Andre and I got together was to produce the world’s greatest tennis player,” says Graf. “As soon as Jaden had a falling out with tennis, our efforts turned to our daughter. We hope that within a few years, by the age of eight, she’ll be able to beat both of the Williams sisters at once.”

Four-year old Jaden currently resides in a smaller, one room garage beside the Agassi mansion, with only a few canvases and only the primary colors in finger-paint form, as provided unwillingly by his parents.

+ posts
You May Also Like

Dunkin’ Donuts Changes Name to Be Politically Correct

by Anfernee Van Tarkus MASSACHUSETTS-Leading donut and coffee provider Dunkin’ Donuts has…

In Defense of WDT

WDT is under attack. They’ve been made villains by nearly all of…

SparkNotes Releases SparkNoted SparkNotes

By Jeremy Hoodaman SparkNotes, the sworn enemy of English teachers everywhere, recently…

I Really Don’t Know Which Super Power I Want

by Austin Graypad Recently, I have been asked about super heroes, or…